Emerson, naturally.

This dog changed my life. CHANGED it forever.

amongst the hardships i've faced and continue to face,

he is always there to sleep next to me at night.

because he has to;

not sleep next to me,

but live with me.

I chose him, he didn't choose me.

But, he loves the crap out of me.

and sometimes the only way i can tell is the volume of his screams when i leave.

But i love every single thing about him.

Everything.

Even though he's chewed several of my shoes (Tory Burch's) and my favorite stuffed animal, among other things,

he has brought me so much when i've felt so alone.

felt that im stuck in an unhappy place and nothing i can even think of will get me out.

I often think that moving somewhere new would make things good again,

anywhere with Emerson, sounds good to me.

But sometimes, when life sucks, it actually doesn't.

And even though you want to be married and have babies,

its not that time yet.

It is always about where you are now (not where you will be)

because even if i sleep all day, only to get up to take my dog out to poop,

i can still be happy.

Because happiness is Emerson.

Everyone needs an Emerson.

Something that gets them up,

something that makes them laugh 

and something to let them enjoy anywhere they are in life.

a sleepless, blissful cove

I am at a very good point in my life. i am full of potential and i am grasping it on the right path. It is the second night in a row i cannot sleep. 

i could think of a million times in my life that i shouldn't have been able to sleep,

but now?

nothing. 

All i can think of is all the good in my life. all of it. and there is so much and i am always grateful.

but what is missing with my sleep?

i never do enough service, i never give enough love.

but i need to strive harder.

our entire purpose is for other people. 

it is through helping others that we become ourselves.

so let's try this again, i found out what i need to fix,

now lets sleep.

much love,

j.

The Best Way To Do Your Nails

Recently, i have been repainting my nails almost every single day. 

I have learned a lot of things that can help you make those salon perfect nails, that i have finally achieved.

Does the brand of polish matter? In a way yes, i used to only buy O.P.I. and Essie, but now i care only about color, after all that's what people will see. (I'm a sucker for $2 polish)

What can i use to make them look even? Thin, constant layers, if i am patient in doing them, they turn out best. i usually watch movies while i do them to keep myself slow.

What can i use to touch up? Any brand of touch up pen is awesome, but if you dont feel like using those you can also use nail polish remover and a q-tip.

The BEST clear coat, which also makes the finish on the nails amazing is Sally Hansen Insta-Dry fast dry. It's about $5 but SO worth it.

The fastest nail polish remover is the pure acetone stuff. I use 'Onyx Professional"

What can i do to spice up my nails? I have bought jewels and little fruit slices from Sally's and the drug store. I usually put one on each hand (ring finger) it's cute and not too much.

I used to have brittle nails that took awhile to grow, but every other time i do my nails i use Sally Hanson nailgrowth miracle. It makes them grow quickly and get stronger.

I love practice, so if you live close to me i would LOVE to do your nails. I have a million colors and i am willing! Just let me know :)

Hope this helps! If you have any more questions, definitely ask!

much love,

Jeanette

solitude's serenity

In my busy life, it is rare that i get a lot of alone time, that i am not spending asleep. but, it is during those moments where i realize everything in my life. what i have, what i need to do, what i want to do, and where i wanna go.

i will turn 20 in november. throughout my family, this is the average age most of the girls have gotten married. woah. 

what i have: 

an amazing, loving and incredibly beautiful family,

hilarious, understanding and affectionate friends,

health,

appreciation for nature's beauty,

desire to become a greater version of my self,

realization of all my blessings,

and deep, profound love for everyone in my life.

what i need to do:

get straight A's this term,

do fulfilling and big things this summer,

be safe,

show my appreciation for everything in bigger ways.

what i want to do:

take a psychology class this summer. just because.

find more creative ways to live my life,

become more humble and selfless,

become a mini-martha-stewart,

write more letters,

spend less time sleeping and more time doing.

where i wanna go:

around the world,

become a leader in the fashion world, 

and an always improving human being.

now

there are a million times a day where i think of things i wish i had.

now, dont confuse this with not being grateful, because i am incredibly grateful for everything i have.

but, i have a hard time with waiting.

i dont want to say anything specific, but i can think of a ton of things i want NOW.

mostly love.

but, i want it in the right place at the right time.

which is obviously NOT right now.

i dont really speak of it much because its something that can annoy, frustrate and make others uncomfortable.

its not exactly table conversation.

unfortunately,

it hurts to wait for what you want.

but that makes it even more worth it.

now, i will put those thoughts aside and dance the night away with kendra.

love,

j.

sunrise

I have been going through a lot lately. I feel even weird admitting it, because i have learned that sometimes its easier to keep to myself then telling everyone whats going on.

I am a deep sleeper and i never wake up in the middle of the night. But, i woke up this morning around 6. In my surprise i was gifted with one glorious sunset. It was absolutely incredibly.

There was a reason i woke up. I was supposed to see that.

I believe that many of life's answers come through earths beauty.

Seeing that fantastic and vibrant sunrise made me realize that

i am loved

i am doing the right thing

and i will be okay.

much love,

j.

one

throughout my life, it seems like so many people go, and barely any stay,

i adore and love those who are there.

once i fix one problem in my life, another occurs.

i'll get through it like i always do.

but there are some things i hope i get out of it,

which i do not really want everyone to know.

right now, all i need to do, is focus on school. and slowly and surely,

my life will turn out to be the best.

here we go........

anger.

sometimes i am so surprised at how angry i can get.

its usually little things that add up into a huge massive about-to-explode anger.

honestly, when im upset, messy stuff makes me furious. i get panicked and clean up everything. it helps clear my mind. but sometimes, like now, its still not clean enough.

im thankful that i have this blog as a refuge.

i am thankful for those who give back so that i dont feel like everything im giving out is not advantaging me somehow. is it sad to say i expect equality in relationships?

one sided relationships dont ever do any good.

dont become that person. give back. im not saying monetarily, but in kindness.

it goes a long way.

i have finally found something in my life that solves everything.

when i feel like i need love,

when im angry {now},

when i feel alone,

when i am in love,

when i want to calm down,

when im tired,

when i need peace,

when i love life,

it is city & colour.

the most beautiful & purest music and lyrics in the world.

if everyone listened to them daily, the world would be a better place.

so instead of me screaming away and making things worse,

i am savoring alone time with me and dallas green {the singer}.

its amazing where music can take you...

much love,

j.

15 things that are happening right now

at the moment you are reading this

1. Someone is thinking of you

2. Someone is loving you

3. Someone is lost

4. Someone is dying

5. Someone is being born

6. Someone is wishing they were with you

7. Someone is in pain

8. Someone is realizing their life importance

9. Someone is wishing they hadn't

10. Someone is scared

11. Someone is living their dream

12. Someone is falling in love

13. Someone is changing for the better

14. Someone is believing for the first time

15. Someone is carrying on

much love,

j.

my name is Part II

Here is a link to part I: my name is

My name is Jeanette Kosorok, nothing in the middle.

I blog when i can't sleep

I believe and adore symbolism

I laugh really loud and often

I stand for gay rights and I'm straight

I love sleeping with a lot of pillows

I cry because i think pigs are so cute

I want to be a good, selfless and loving mother

I love pink more than i should

I have poor eating self control and habits

I love the sounds of the city

I have a shopping addiction

I love my family

I am clumsy

Winter is my favorite

I wish everyone got to live the life they dream of

I think Cillian Murphy and Jeremy Allen White are perfection

I love mint

I have a phobia of public bathrooms

I would trade changing diapers over working in an office any day

I don't like people who complain

I work pretty quickly

I care about everyone, even if it doesn't seem like it

I live by dream interpretation

I need a stool to get to my bed

I want rims on my car

I'm addicted to things that smell good and fast cars

I love people who are different than me

I could always listen to Norah Jones

I would love to be a surfer

I am very open minded

I think a park is pointless without swings

I still get dumbfounded in the toy aisles

I sleep way too much

I could shop around Target and Ikea all day

I have an immense gratitude and passion towards everyday of my life

much love,

j.