a different eye

long time no see.

numerous revelations have come to me since i last posted. i am scrambling in my head of the way i should organize this post to have it make sense to you. let's do themes.

friends.
they are the favorites. i constantly want to be with all my friends. they are preference. the relationships created, and sustained are the most enriching influences in my life. when it comes to my friends, age never stops me. enjoying life with other people, is so much better than being alone.

emotions.
i can be happy almost all the time. i constantly surround myself with people and events. the hardest times for me lately have been the minutes before i fall asleep. alone in the darkness and silence of my room, i feel alone. i feel like i do know whats missing and if that was back, it would be fixed, but its possible that that might not be it, so for now, hope.

sidenote.
you know in movies when nothing interesting happens for a long period of time, so instead of having a huge boring part of the movie they just place the words one year later (or whatever years) to skip to the good part? my life is at that place. the place that is too boring to be worth showing. prove me wrong, but at those silent, dark moments at the end of each day. thats how i feel.

music.
my favorites lately have been exactly exactly how i feel.
behold:
the permanent rain by the dangerous summer

untouchable by taylor swift

swallowed in the sea by coldplay


i constantly think throughout the day of what things i could blog about, and they sound absolutely amazing in my head, until i finally get the chance and they're all gone.

my life in summary:

i live a life full of amazing opportunites, surrounded by the best people, and a really good attitude. but no matter what situation you are in,
you will feel sad sometimes.
you will feel not good enough.
you will feel lost.
you will feel so utterly alone.

and this is OK. but you must remind yourself that all this is not true. it is only perspective. be in remorse for a short time, then quickly get up, brush yourself off, and embrace your life.

it is your life. yours. make it yours. embrace it and take every good opportunity that comes to you.

regaining your senses.
nature is the absolute perfect place to regain sanity. tonight while i was taking out the trash it was uncomfortably cold but i took 2 minutes to stare up at the stars and realize that the world is beautiful and i should take every chance i can to make it the fullest,richest experience.

simple advice.
pick a flower.
take a hike.
make a cake.
walk with a friend.
drive alone with your favorite songs.
look up at the stars.
wear perfume.
surround yourself with your favorites.
hug more.
forgive.
love.
and, harden your shell.

and let no one bring down your powerful self.

much love,


j.