a different eye

long time no see.

numerous revelations have come to me since i last posted. i am scrambling in my head of the way i should organize this post to have it make sense to you. let's do themes.

friends.
they are the favorites. i constantly want to be with all my friends. they are preference. the relationships created, and sustained are the most enriching influences in my life. when it comes to my friends, age never stops me. enjoying life with other people, is so much better than being alone.

emotions.
i can be happy almost all the time. i constantly surround myself with people and events. the hardest times for me lately have been the minutes before i fall asleep. alone in the darkness and silence of my room, i feel alone. i feel like i do know whats missing and if that was back, it would be fixed, but its possible that that might not be it, so for now, hope.

sidenote.
you know in movies when nothing interesting happens for a long period of time, so instead of having a huge boring part of the movie they just place the words one year later (or whatever years) to skip to the good part? my life is at that place. the place that is too boring to be worth showing. prove me wrong, but at those silent, dark moments at the end of each day. thats how i feel.

music.
my favorites lately have been exactly exactly how i feel.
behold:
the permanent rain by the dangerous summer

untouchable by taylor swift

swallowed in the sea by coldplay


i constantly think throughout the day of what things i could blog about, and they sound absolutely amazing in my head, until i finally get the chance and they're all gone.

my life in summary:

i live a life full of amazing opportunites, surrounded by the best people, and a really good attitude. but no matter what situation you are in,
you will feel sad sometimes.
you will feel not good enough.
you will feel lost.
you will feel so utterly alone.

and this is OK. but you must remind yourself that all this is not true. it is only perspective. be in remorse for a short time, then quickly get up, brush yourself off, and embrace your life.

it is your life. yours. make it yours. embrace it and take every good opportunity that comes to you.

regaining your senses.
nature is the absolute perfect place to regain sanity. tonight while i was taking out the trash it was uncomfortably cold but i took 2 minutes to stare up at the stars and realize that the world is beautiful and i should take every chance i can to make it the fullest,richest experience.

simple advice.
pick a flower.
take a hike.
make a cake.
walk with a friend.
drive alone with your favorite songs.
look up at the stars.
wear perfume.
surround yourself with your favorites.
hug more.
forgive.
love.
and, harden your shell.

and let no one bring down your powerful self.

much love,


j.

my best makeup recommendations

having been wearing makeup for quite awhile, i have finally found the best of the best. & i have chosen to share it all with you!

the best primer ever. absolutely makes makeup incredibly even.

If youre looking for a compact, chanel is el perfecto. i absolutely love mine, its great for touch ups although it does smell like baby powder.

yves saint laurent under eye concealer. perfect for days where you get little sleep.

urban decay eyeshadow potion. keeps eyeshadow perfectly even alllll day.

tarina tarantino pink sparkles. perfect for pink lovers like me.

nars anything. especially their eyeshadow and face lightener.

bare minerals is the best foundation, matte powder and bronzers out there. promise.

dior extase, or any dior mascara is my absolute favorite.

honestly, THIS is the best makeup item i have. you put it on before you put on makeup and it keeps your face even and not shiny all day.

whats YOUR favorite??

much love,

j.

one week late

i wrote this post about a week ago in math class. life is a little different now, definitely better though.

here we goooo

There are always going to be hard times in life. The points in life where you realize after awhile youve been doing nothing and your bad habits have come out. this just happened to me. ill blame most of it on the fact that ive been really sick for awhile. when youre at this low point, there becomes an ultimatum. you can choose to continue this, or bring yourself up. ive chosen to bring myself up. its a bit difficult but i know life will become interesting and positive again. i believe it shows who you are and how important life is for you by what you do in these times of struggle.

and now, as of currently,

life is amazing. because im embracing every moment and every person.

much love,

j.

sunshine

Tonight as i was taking my sweet time getting ready for bed i sung one of my favorite songs over and over.

you are my sunshine my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are grey
youll never know dear how much i love you
please dont take my sunshine away

these lyrics like almost everything else remind me of my past.
i am currently on pause and i cant wait for someone to press play.

there are so many times in my life and yours that we want things in the past that are not in the present. especially something that made you so incredibly happy that you could never dream of anything more perfect than that.


Oo i hate bringing this up but valentines day is coming up. people either love it or hate it. this year i wont be a fan.

i am spending that day with my bestest girl friends. they are who i have been surrounding myself with the past couple of months and they are absolutely amazing. wow.

my eyes just watered up. life is so different for me then its ever been and there are so many things that arent here that would make like much more enjoyable and sweet. but i live the best life i could ask for, especially the people in it.

to my four girls.

kendra: thanks for keeping life unorganized and chaotic. no one is as hilarious and ridiculous as you. you have no idea how much your company has made my life better.

sara: i feel like ive been friends with you forever. you are the best venter and ventee. im so grateful for someone who always understands me even if i make no sense at all.

christina: you are my hug boo. i absolutely love laughing through everything with you. you always amaze me in how you handle situations in the best way. you are so strong.

ashley: i love ho we share so many of the same oppinions. never a dull moment with you. you are my only constant friend since 8th grade and i never doubt why.


to you:
i am silently cheering you on every single day. things happen for a reason and i trust it completely. ready. set. go.


shine on,

jeanette

Conquering struggles on your own

{yayyy its us sledding!}

There will constantly be struggles in your life. big or small. but, it is absolutely horrible when you are all alone (maybe not physically) and have no one to talk to about what's going on. and believe me, it happens to everyone.

before i forget, please forgive me for my sparse blogging. life has been intense (probably obvious by what im blogging about)

the easiest ways to conquer struggles.

#1. distraction.

surround yourself with people unrelated to your issue. if this is too impossible, move on to #2. by surrounding myself with people who are very exciting and love me, i can move on from something without focusing constantly on it.

#2. patience.

this is much more realistic, but it is very difficult. when i think about one of the most dramatically changing times in my life, it was honestly a really long time ago. But if i think about it more, and the good times before it, it seems not so far away. Patience, is distance. Distancing yourself from the past and slowly (or quickly if youre good) moving onto the future.

#3. independence.

stop relying on others, and become independent. it starts slow, and believe me i am still working on it and im not even close. i still can barely go to the mall by myself. (try that, and if you can youre way better off than me)

#4. reliance on one.

pick one person, or better yet let them pick you. pick one person whos maybe going through something similar as you and let them be your refuge. if youre going through a hard time, go to them. if you explode your emotions on everyone, itll be way tiring, especially on your relationship. dont ruin friendships when youre trying to recover.

#5 (my favorite) love.

surround yourself in what you love and who you love. choose to love. if your struggle is getting over someone, then dont try to hurry and love someone else, but love life. love the things in it and everything you have. then with all the appreciation you have for life, you wont need much else.

i love you. and i believe that you can do anything. i am way farther than i used to be yesterday along my path to conquering my struggles and its all will power, the right environment and controlling my emotions.

do it. and tell me about your success!!

much love,

j.

neglected blog, but definitely not neglected life

I seriously cannot believe i haven't blogged in this long of time. But, i promise i will keep up my game from now on. A lot of things happened for me during winter break, and i've picked 11 pictures to sum it up.


My sister got married! Here are the siblings of the bride and groom.


B, or brandon davidson came to my sister's reception here, in chapel hill.

So did kendra, sara & henry!

It was very cold while we spent two hours taking pictures (19 degrees)

me and michael. those biggs boys are pretty awesome

me sara and kendra went to a 5 stake dance. i met will ross, who is one of the nicest kids everrr

this. is the infamous picture. nick, jackson, ian and ryan.

they jumped off a huge rock at eno & of course me and

sara liked watching

here are my favorites. brandon, nick, jackson, kendra & sara.

i dyed part of my hair pink, along with sara and kendra.

it snowed on christmas!!!

me & my dad made the perfect snowman

My break was really intense, but now since im finally back at school (besides taking a breather day today) i'll definitely keep up with blogging.

much love,

j.

nevermind

It has come apparent that i can't not blog. I've decided to give you all an update.

-I got to hold a perfect new baby yesterday (as shown) and it was absolute bliss. I cannot wait for that step in my life. Life would be so much better if everyone could hold newborns everyday.

-My bed just broke. I was showing my parents some youtube videos and they both got on. then it broke. Im currently in the guest room while the gorilla glue dries (hopefully my bed will be okay, dont think its ghetto or anything!)

-My dear friend Stuart got baptized. He is such an amazing example to me.

-Christmas is coming up, and my sister is getting married in just one week! (oh there will be so much to talk about on here after that!)

-Life is absolutely amazing right now. I know i seem to say that all the time, but my reason for not blogging in the longest time was because i was trying to get over some things and i did not want to risk any negativity that would influence you all in a bad way.

-If you need any gift recommendations i have sooo many. Please, let me know and if there is an enormous response ill create a post especially for that.

This christmas,
absorb it. absolutely consume the good things about it.
spend time with your wonderful family. enjoy them. cherish everything you do.
think of the meaning of christmas & keep it in focus.

life, is life. but it is oh so wonderful.


much love,


j.

pause

I am taking a break from blogging. I hate to do this to you, but, the holidays will be incredibly busy and i have oh so much to do!

Before i leave, here is some advice.

1. i love you
2. life is incredibly interesting, embrace it.
3. I will take many pictures to capture everything.
4. I'll miss this.


much love,


j.

confession time

I don't know what it is, but i have had a huge weight on me all day today, and the past couple of days. There are so so many things going on, and that's probably why. I just am so worried that i'll feel like this for a long time, and that's what scares me most.

Last night, I went to Urban Ministries in Durham. I absolutely loved serving food to people who need it most. Honestly, if i could pick the thing that makes me the happiest to do every day, i would choose this. There is nothing more rewarding than helping others.

At the moment, I am sleeping more than normal and trying to spend as much time with friends as possible. That's the easiest way to distract myself.

As always though, there are so many things to look forward to and although they seem far away at the time, they will come quickly.

Keep calm & carry on

much love,


j.

Behold

Sometimes, materialism is okay. I have wanted these for the longest, longest time.
Come christmas time, they will be on my feet.

love. love. love.

see?


what do you love?