what isn't there

(a butterfly on my finger in the butterfly house)

in life there are so many things that happen. but there are almost infinite amounts of things that don't happen.

it is easy to invision your life the way you'd love it to be, the perfect way it could be lived. before important events happen in my life, i picture them a certain way. the way that they would be lived out supremely.

but, i am not to be confused with being ungrateful. im just a dreamer.

i have a full life. full of love, people and events that make it so enjoyable. i choose to make everything mean something. and to make it last.

but, something is missing.

something always is.

something that would make it a million times more enjoyable.

or so i think.

am i too caught up in the 'what ifs"? the things that dont happen?

without really enjoying and realizing what i do have.

and what i live.

and who i share it with.

and the infinite possibilities that will occur.

life and its variability is oh so very interesting.

and part of the excitement of the purpose of life.

and what ones life is full of.

much love,

j.