Disclaimer: I wrote this post awhile ago and finally finalized it, also, the feelings expressed in this have changed, but for some reason i feel like i need to post it.Ever feel like no matter how many people are around you or all the things youre doing, that you still feel utterly alone?
No one of my friends believe it. Mainly because i dont show it. I have a hard happy shell.
I dont know why i feel alone. im not ungrateful i just havent quite diagnosed it yet. It might be because im not used to not having nightly phone calls.
or im still incredibly nervous about college.
or because i never sleep anymore. ever.
or because i choose to be negative at some times.
or possibly because i am alone.
i would never want to depend on other people for my own happiness. although i might not want to admit the truth. depending on others is a sign of weakness. i dont want to be weak.
for the moment i will prescribe this. 1 daily dose of me time. or maybe more. and much more sleep. and positivity and open minded-ness.
lifetime full of refills.
although for most things you should take initiative to make things happen, for some, just ride the wave of life, and eventually youll come up on the shore of a beautiful tropical island. full of pina coladas and everything good.
much love,
j.
It's true. You can feel alone absolutely anywhere. I think I'm usually feeling alone when I'm struggling to understand myself. I always feel a little better if I center myself in the basics. But yeah, feeling alone seems to be a part of life...it must be important somehow. I guess it's so we'll learn to believe what we hear all the time: You are never alone.
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