a permanent place

A home is a place full of love. a place of safety and refuge.

I have spent all night and today feeling violated. my respect, home, and feelings were busted down and torn apart.

A situation was taken completely out of hand and i was left to defend myself and stand my ground constantly until it went away.

Im writing this in school. unable to get my mind off this haunting event. the feeling im left with has nothing to do with the real issue, but of the people who chose to make a drastic, unrelated issue. i dont care about the friendship, or the people or the real situation. I care about how incredibly ridiculous they chose to be. i decided after they left i wouldnt speak of the issue ever again. its over. except in my mind. im left with fear, increase in anxiety and worry. if people have the decency to come into my home, and act the way they did toward me and my parents, they are nothing but garbage. i knew i was right. i never went that far with them, i yelled to make my point, and i kept to what i knew was right.

the repeated words echo in my head during everything i do. i feel sunken. this was the definition of overreaction and disrespect. i couldnt sleep last night scared they would come again.

you cannot control what people do, how they choose to treat you, but you have no wrong in sticking to what you know is right. it was hard and they pushed me to the ground, but i was still there, and i still got what i wanted. i'm not saying that i was completely "right" but i knew that them trying to force me into changing my opinion didnt mean i had to.

the result was fair, legal and i have realized who really matters in my life, the kind of respect i should expect from friends, the people i should let through my door and that,

no matter the issue. stand. stand where you are and dont move. the impossible was possible. i defied the power i thought i possessed. and hopefully, this will never

ever happen again.

much love,

j.