Saturday, July 31, 2010


There are always reasons to put yourself down. Life is always wavy with its ups and downs. There are times i feel alone, sad, negative and hopeless. But, it will always come back up. No matter what, your life will always turn around.
And, always remember the good things people say. Don't let the negative comments cover up the good.

This week i went to NC state design camp. One of the best weeks of my life. There are so many things that happened that upset me, but overall it was amazing, and because i chose to focus on the good, i had a great experience.

The new people i met.
Winning the "best overall" award. [honestly i was surprised]
My stop motion video. the funnest, toughest and most time consuming thing ever, but definitely payed off!
Getting absolutely no sleep, and staying up super late with everyone (i'm saying two or three in the morning every night and waking up at 7)
The whole schedule and way everything was set up.
I learned that i'm mostly attractive to guys because of their smile. no joke.
I learned also that i have the capability of extreme patience.

The Bad:
missing kendra and other friends.
the same unappetizing food
the physical pain from working on something hardcore 10 hours a day (my finger got swollen from all the xacto blading i had to do, my back hurt from leaning over the camera during the stop motion process, my back hurting from sitting on stools, etc)

You can see some of what i did on facebook and i'll upload pictures in about a month (they took many pictures of us during the camp and it takes about 30 days for them to send them they say....)

I absolutely loved my experience and am definitely going to nc state and doing a half in half in the design school and textile school.

Much love,
your ever growing, always learning


Thursday, July 22, 2010

Eye Candy

Ready for this?

I've had a crush on him since lord of the rings came out. (confession time)

Probably the only person who can pull off a hairy chest.
He could be my dad, but he's still gorgeous.

Bradley Cooper. can definitely pull off scruff. and anything else.
channing tatum (with his perfecto shoulder freckles. yes, random but you know what i'm talking about)
James Franco. Who looks freakishly and amazingly like James Dean.

Michael Phelps. 8 gold metals and completely gorge.

Matt Lutz. It's the smile & the parenthesis's surrounding it.

Michael Buble. The best voice in the world. You agree.
Jude Law. I absolutely loved him in The Holiday.
Hugh Jackman. Always a hunk. but i absolutely love his light brown eyes.
Hugh Dancy. Modeled for Burberry awhile ago.
David beckham. Honestly, words can't describe.
Cillian Murphy. I would marry him. But he's twice as old as me and definitely already married. Everything about him i absolutely love. love. love. (don't get me started...)
Bryan Greenberg. I have never seen pink worn this good.
Ben Foster. Nothing like a shirtless guy with perfect angel wings.

Ryan Gosling. (hah! i love this picture)
It's his eyes.

much love,

p.s. i won't do another post like for awhile. calm down boys.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

For You

I've thought a lot before posting this. You mean a lot to me and i want the very best for you. I had an amazing opportunity to be in a great place last week, and that taught me so much.
First, here's my journal entry from July 1st:
I read in my scriptures about patience today. I have been really concerned and impatient lately. I worry that some things won't ever happen. I have learned from my independent scripture study that i need to be patient and trust in the Lord. He will make things happen how they are supposed to if i continue to do the right thing. He will guide me and prompt me to let me know what to do. I trust him and i know he will help me. I am a constant worry-er. I always need his comfort. If i never had the gospel i would have no hope and barely any positivity. The gospel brings me happiness. It brings me peace and comfort with the knowledge that i have. I still hope it's okay for me to be a little worried (because i am naturally impatient) while the lord helps things happen how they are supposed to. I constantly worry for my future. I want it to work out how i imagine and hopefully, if it's supposed to, it will. I can remind myself of how my sister Jessica was very scared about which apartment to choose, she prayed and found Cinnamon Tree. Not knowing at the time that it would work out, but trusting the Lord that it will. Then she met Matt, who also had no idea at first why he was impressed to go there either. Trust in the Lord and he will guide you if you follow his commandments.

I know many of you may be confused. You can find everything you need by asking me, or visiting

I love you all. I know i say that all the time but i really do. I want the absolute best for you. you! I think about you all the time. I know you will be happy if you make the right decisions, i know it. If you need anything, please please know that i'm here for you.

Much love,


Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My Dream

last night i had a dream.
it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
it was so personal, so perfect.
and came with a huge confirmation that everything would be okay.

i know this dream will come true someday,
all i have to do is wait.

much love,