Saturday, January 30, 2010

At This Moment

Many things come unexpectantly. They leave us unplanned and unprepared. They can leave us upset or confused. We can make plans for our future all we want, but there's no guarantee they're certain. But that's okay, we can always adjust.

I'm a huge planner. I might in fact make use out of it and make it a profession, we'll see. I had a bunch of plans this weekend, one's i liked and one's i dreaded (SAT class...oh ick). They all fell apart. Nothing came through [blame the snow]. Although i've had an over relaxed day, i can already tell i needed it.

I decided to make cookies. I don't need cookies and shouldn't eat them anyways. While they were fresh out of the oven, i thought of the perfect plan. I love surprising people, and i couldn't really go anywhere. So i gave them to my neighbors. I tell you, the reactions on their faces we're so much better than staying cooped up and eating them alone. It was a chilly process (although they were close) but it was worth it.

Here's some documentation of today.


Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake. -Henry David Thoreau

Thursday, January 28, 2010

So i got this problem....

[misdemeanor: I have no intent to bring down your spirit or complain in this post]
There's obviously something wrong with me, i'll get it out there. The question is, what is that exact problem? Here are some of my symptoms:
-easily get dizzy/faint when doing exercise (even if it's a little)
-gets extremely sick feeling after almost everytime eating
-feel weak, almost always tired
-frequent stomach aches
(I'm a picky eater, but i've always been)
It's been happening long enough that i know it's not mono, there's no chance i'm pregnant and i haven't done anything different in my eating habits (besides eating healthier, which i doubt is the problem)
So, my trainer believes i have hypoglycemia, and so do i. The thing is, sometimes glucose tabs or other things don't work, and because of that i'm a bit iffy.
The point of me telling you all this, is to let you know, that sometimes life isn't just right. We will always face challenges and hardships. Some big, some small, some short, some long. I hope right now, this will soon go away. If it doesn't, i'll eventually be okay, because it could always be worse.
I've had many breakdown moments in my lifetime. Many days spent thinking why me? why this? why now? but one thing has always stayed constant. I've moved on. My problems have eventually gone away, or i've learned to deal with them. It is extremely important, to always have a hopeful attitude. Challenges happen to everyone, and it is always, always possible to get through them. God does not put things in our way that we cannot handle.
If you are currently struggling with something, believe me, you can always get help. I find serenity in long naps, my favorite songs, visits with friends, kid movies, inspiring stories of amazing people, and almost everything i like. If you think you are too caught up in unhappy thoughts, that can be fixed. Positivity is always possible. I've had many challenges in my early teens, and from all those hardships i thought would never end, i learned the necessary skill of positivity. I gained confidence in doing things i liked and by surrounding myself in things that made me happy.
I have much faith in you, friend.

immeasurable love,

For My Friends

I can't begin to express how i feel about you. I've been sitting here for around thirty minutes trying to put my feelings into words. I found some, and they're a bit choppy, but they provide the perfect definiton of your friendship to me. Here i go.
Human connections are amazing. They're the only thing i need. I happen to have some of the best. Friendship, love, family. i have the complete support system. Don't get me wrong, i need it. I need you. Everyone needs someone. I'm extremely blessed to have some of the best people in my life. I have so many complex friends. They're amazing in countless ways. They uplift me and help me continue in difficult times. They say the right things at the right time. They're honest to me when i'm not honest with myself. I need other perspectives, i need other opinions and views.
I have so much gratitude for the friendship you've given me. I strive everyday to be a faithful, loving friend. I absolutely adore all of you. I'll never be able to thank you enough.


"When words are both true and kind, they can change the world."-Ghandi
Especially my world.

Saturday, January 23, 2010


I just got my license yesterday. It's a bit late for me, considering i've been seventeen for a couple months and you're supposed to get it at 16. I took a long time to convince myself to take driver's ed, because i was almost in a fatal crash freshman year, and because of the trama i went through i was extremely afraid of driving. I admit, i completely regret waiting to get it. But, now since i got it, nothing's stopping me!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Impact of Gratitude

I'm one of those people that remember the little things. The little details are the ones that make the biggest difference to me. The way someone smiles at me, or the small note they pass. I feel like those kind of actions are the ones that show who people really are. They show that they genuinely care. I have so much gratitude for all those people in my life who have made it a better place. Those people who spend their time making me feel better, making me feel more inspired to do what i do. I don't have much of a memory, but i do remember almost every small action people have shown to me, the big ones too. The ones that have made the largest impact in my life are the actions that took place at the exact right time, the time i needed it most and also the times that completely surprised me. As for everything i feel, i want to give it back. I strive to be compassionate and i hope that it makes a difference, in small ways or big. Live life abundantly.

Monday, January 11, 2010


Acceptance is sometimes a hard thing to...accept. For example, i've already accepted that im pale, short, picky, obsessive over some things, am not perfect, like some weird stuff, and make mistakes. But guess what, because i've accepted it, all those possibly bad characteristics aren't so bad anymore.
On the more positive side, i've accepted that i'm acceptive, love human beings, will always stand out, can make a difference, and strive everyday to do my best.
Acceptance is mainly important on your view of other people. The easiest way to accept others and the way they are, is through an open mind. Accept that they aren't exactly like you. They don't have to agree with you on everything. They don't look like you and definitely have a different past then you. I believe it is possible for anyone to get along with anyone. It's all through the power of acceptance. You can either choose to be annoyed by certain things, or choose to love them. Acceptance is a choice. A critical choice that'll completely alter and change your life everyday.

My favorite thing in life are the people in it. I could never imagine a life alone from society. Everyone is made for everyone. We're here for others, and they're here for us. We're all an absolutely gigantic network. Imagine acceptance in such a large scale as the whole human race. Unfortunately, it's pretty incomprehendable. But hey, we don't have to get along with everyone, but it's important to try.